So near and yet so far!

It's been so long since I've written here. Most of the time it's because I'm lazy, at other times I've got nothing interesting to write about, and hence my blog is gathering virtual dust. :-P

We are nearly at the end of the journey: less than a year to go before my scholarship runs out... I've finished my exams, and am now officially a PhD candidate. Now, I've got to focus on my prospectus and get moving in order to graduate on time. I am finding it hard though to motivate my self lately; lack of regimented schedules and self-appointed deadlines tend to do that to you. Plus, I am rather lucky to get a supervisor who's kind of laissez faire; she's not really the type to brandish a whip! (ha ha). But yes, the thought of being stuck here without money scares me enough to know that I have to work harder! Lately, I am more homesick than ever; I can't wait to get it done and go home! I have this gnawing feeling that life is at a standstill and it's time to move on! People think it's exciting to be in the States doing your PhD, but believe me there is nothing to envy! I know I am learning a lot more here, much more than I would have had I been in Malaysia (not just in terms of academic life) but I am also losing a lot: sacrificing my physical health (stress will do that to you!), buying a house, having kids, spending time with my family etc. I am luckier than most that I have my other half here, and I should be grateful for that but it's doubly hard also for both of us in terms of coping with the challenges that come, financially, emotionally, physically etc. If I looked back, and knowing what I do now, I am not sure if I would have made the same decision. I would have in hindsight perhaps, chosen to study at a country where I can come home easier (on the pocket + less distance) so I can fall back on family support if I needed it... Well, you can't turn back time or regret your decisions but I am not 100% sure that this is the path that I would have chosen had I had an alternative...

Well, on to more errr... less gloomy things. :-P We've had bouts of really bad flu for the last week or so. I've been lucky that in the four years that I've been here this is the first time I've had it so bad. Probably because the weather has been the coldest it has been since 2009. And with winter comes a host of other problems: our car has been causing a lot of problem lately because of it! Tapi nak ganti sayang kan coz it cost money, and we have less than two years to go so we will probably bear with it till the end. Jgn sebut2 nak ganti, nanti kereta tu merajuk! ha ha ha

All in all, I can't really wait for this journey to be over and move on to other, more important things!

Jotted by,
  

Terrible weekend!

Source: Phd Comics (funny stuff!)

What a terrible weekend, health-wise!

I am still holed up in the apartment most of the time, trying to study for comps. Last weekend was no different. On Saturday I was working and trying to print a bunch of notes and the cat lunged towards the printer. Foolishly I tried to lift him from the printer to prevent him from grabbing the papers that was coming out from the printer and he was so jumpy he scratched me in a bunch of places! (including neck, both wrists, fingers). Now Toby is quite a good cat; I can count the number of times he scratched me and the times he has hissed from the three years he has been with us. He only scratches or hiss when he feels threatened, scared or surprised; which I suppose is a primal reaction common to animals. I didn't realize how bad it was until I looked at myself in the mirror. There was quite a bit of blood, my necklace was ripped from my neck (and chain broke sob sob) and I saw puncture wounds in my wrist. I didn't really think anything of it; dressed my wounds and bandaged it and continue working. By night however, one finger has swelled and I couldn't bend it. 

So, the next day we went to a minute clinic in CVS (was a Sunday and it was conveniently open and no appointment needed!). The nurse told me I was indeed infected and she prescribed some antibiotics for me. I did swipe my wounds with alcohol and some ointment but apparently it just didn't work. Today, the swelling has gone down although my right index finger still looked a tad fat. :-( Hopefully it will be OK by tomorrow; its my typing hand OK! More cause for concern though it's my blood pressure. She did say it wasn't high but borderline worrying. I told her I had exams so maybe that's why it spiked up. I haven't had much sleep over the last two months and I've been waking up at night worrying about my comps. I know my sedentary and stressful life-style (especially for the last two months) is also to be blamed: e.g. convenient and infrequent meals, long hours in front of the PC reading and typing, limited sun (to be fair, it's almost winter!) and lack of fresh air... I swear I will have to do some life-style changes once I finish my comps!! I have to.

It made me think if all of this is worth it. Working towards a PhD for the last three years of my life is costing me a lot: having offsprings, buying a house in Malaysia, spending time with family and now my health. I could probably have better coping skills, but doing a PhD is stress inducing for anyone, and especially challenging for an international student not used to the US (or any other foreign country) education system. I just have to accept that this is my challenge, complain less and do better. It feels good though to let this out. Now, excuse me while I get back to work. :-P

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Malas

Lama sungguh dah tak update blog ni. Bersawang dah. I prolly don't have any readers anymore LOL

Actually a lot of things happened in the last few months: went back to Malaysia, came back, prelims etc. But somethings I am just too lazy to update and some are just to private to put down here. Plus, I've been a bit busy with my studies that blogging seems to be a luxury (common I think among my friends who are also doing a PhD: Madihah & Nina, I am looking at you guys! he he he he). I've thought about shutting down this blog for good, but then again... it feels like it would be a shame to do that since blogging (although very sporadically) is one of the ways I used to let off steam. And I've met some lovely people through it too. So I decide to just let it be for now. And I still read (or glance through) every blog in my blog list, and am finding out that there are like minded individuals who have also let their blogs go! :-P

On to other stuff: it's fall now in Ohio. I think my body is in a state of shock. The temperature dropped abruptly without warning, and I really hate putting on my jacket instead of a light cardigan. Pretty soon it will be winter. Hopefully this winter will be just as kind as last year!

Will write more... (when the mood strikes)...

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Overdue update!

For me unfortunately, 'lazy not just today but almost daily! he he he Source: Google images

It would seem that I am blogging less and less lately. :-P Therefore, this is my half-hearted attempt at trying to update my blog. Short spurts of updates is about all I can manage right now. He he he. 

•  It's winter... going into spring. I am so grateful that this winter has been really kind. Very few snow storms. Not too cold. Even some sunshine once in a while. Today, it was snowing briefly but I think it will stop soon. Yeay! 
• I've given my SV an outline of my prelim paper. She hasn't given me a feedback yet, but I am writing my paper in the meanwhile and hoping that the corrections aren't too bad. I am OK with my topic and I think I won't be bored of it by the time I defend my prospectus!
• Emee is probably coming during her spring break. I am very looking forward to it, and I hope it materializes. We have visited her in Chicago so it's time for her to return the visit. I will also use her visit as an excuse to get a little break he he he
• Sad has to renew his passport and we might have to do it in NY. I am not sure when we will go but hopefully sometime when the weather is more forgiving
• My brother got married last week. It saddens me a bit not to be there but it can't be helped and I am glad we have a new family member. Welcome to the family, Nani! 
• The Oscars is tomorrow, can't wait to watch it. Haven't seen any of the movie in the list, except for The Help. Though, am rooting for Meryl Streep FTW! (can't stand smug Rooney Mara; don't care how good the movie was! And I did like the Swedish version)
• Did you guys read about the father who shot his daughter's laptop because she was rude to him on FB? Moral of the story: A bit OTT, I know but be careful what you say on social networking websites, OK! Dr. Phil berated him but I am not sure how I would react if my kid badmouths me on social network so I am in no position to judge. :-P If you didn't, you can read about it here.
• Enjoy the weekend, people. :-)

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Happy birthday to me!

Wow... this is one of the longest time since I stayed away from my blog. Dah bersawang dah pun. He he he. Sometimes I think I should shut it down, but the urge to blog is still there only time does not permit it. Have no fear though, if I don't blog it means I am relatively busy, but happy. :-P

My recent birthday just passed. This year, although have been up and down, things are good. I am grateful for all His blessings. I am healthy, my family is well  and I have a good husband. Financially, we are also doing OK. Studies are good. So all in all, I have a lot. And I am grateful for it. We didn't do much on the day; a friend was moving to Michigan so we headed to her house to help her clear away her stuff (and there was a lot, she have been staying there for twenty years!). I am also a bit saddened as this friend is one of the most helpful and kind people here and not having her here is sort of like losing a family member. But it's OK, I can always phone and now that Emee is here in the US I am not lonely at all. :-)

This year, the snow is late. There was a flurry on my birthday, but it has cleared. I am guessing it will come back next week but the weather is not too cold compared to last year so that's great! I am on winter break for a couple of weeks so I just plan to relax and take care of hubby n cat. My prelim paper is waiting but I plan to submit it in March or April. All in all, things are going according to plan although I am a bit behind schedule. My brother is getting married in February and I feel sad that I am going to miss this joyous occasion. But that can't be helped so I can't dwell on it. Being away makes me appreciate my family and I wish that I had more time to spend with them. I cannot wait to finish my studies so I can go back home.

To all of you celebrating Christmas, happy holidays! I will write more when the mood strikes. 

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Demam!

Source: Google images

Wah, for the first time sejak datang US dapat selsema teruk! We just got back from a three day trip to Chicago to visit my friend Emee who is in Chicago doing her Masters (will blog about that trip later!). But I think the chilly Chicago weather, plus not getting enough sleep (darn you Toby!) for the past few days made my immune system weak, and thus here I am with blocked and runny nose, and a slightly sore throat. Thank goodness this week I am not presenting anything, and only have some reading to do plus just one short assignment to submit.

It's approaching fall season here in the US, so no more sunny weather. It's been raining steadily too, and the weather is now cool and chilly. I hate it how the weather abruptly change from summer to fall here. Time to bring out a slightly thicker coat and no more walking around in sandals! Probably also we need to get our flu shots at the local pharmacy. Will write more when I'm feeling better!

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Bookworm tag?

Source: Google Images

Syigim tagged me a couple of days ago. I'm kinda late in replying, but late is better than never kan? he he he. p.s: things have been really haywire last two weeks, now things have improved but there's still some lingering issues... hope it all gets sorted out. Sigh. Like I said, ignore my last post. :-P Enjoy this one, instead!

1. What books are you currently reading? How far in are you? What's it about?

Communication and Cognition! Seriously, it's my text book this semester. Not very far along because it's so hard to read!!! Oh you mean non-academic books? Then it's a chick lit by Gemma Halliday called 'Spying in High Heels'. Some people say she copies Janet Evanovich but since I've not read any of Janet E's book I don't know if that's true. What I do love about it is that she's managed to make a chick-lit super funny and her characters are endearing. Never mind that it's not realistic. Ha ha. This book is about a rather hair brained shoe designer who turns super sleuth when her boyfriend disappears after being suspected of embezzling money. Despite repeated warnings from the detective leading the case (who also happens to be good looking! what are the odds of that!) she manages to get herself in serious danger because of her meddling. As chick lit goes, it was light and I finished it in two days!

2. If you could live out any storybook, as a character in it, which story would it be?

Hmm... I would say Miss Marple... in any of Agatha's Christie's novels featuring MM. It would be nice to be right all the time! Ha ha. She always knows. Don't try to pull one over her.

3. Lets say that you could donate your old books. Is there ONE book that you would not donate? 

I'm an avid true crime novel but there's no other psychopath that fascinates me except for Ted Bundy. I've reviewed Ann Rule's book about him "The Stranger Beside Me" which was pretty good until recently I also read "The Only Living Witness" by Stephen Michaud & Hugh Aynsworth. Ann Rule knew him slightly and worked with him before his killing spree started but Michaud & Aynsworth actually interviewed him before he died. Upon reading the book, I feel that it is the most comprehensive book on Bundy so far. There are things in the book detailing Bundy's mannerisms and his views on his own crimes that are chilling, and not found in other books. So yes, this is one book I would never, ever donate.

4. Do you recommend books to other people? If you could force everyone you know to read one book, what would it be? 

I don't like recommending books to people, because I think it's very personal. What you read tells you a lot about your interests so it's hard to tell someone what is good because I think it's subjective. Let me put it this way, one book that I think was interesting right off the bat, could interest a lot of people even if you are not a fan of the genre is definitely is the classic "The Godfather" by Mario Puzo. His description of the Italian mob is fascinating to say the least. I have a rather dog-eared version of the book, which has been read many times!

5. What's the first book that you read more than once? What book have you read the most time? And how many times? 

I think the first book that I read more than once would be books by Enid Blyton. I read them as a kidand I've read and reread them. The books now belong to my youngest brother! The book that I read the most would be Ken Follet's "The Dangerous Fortunes". I love Ken Follet. His historical novels are the best. The Dangerous Fortunes is about a upper class banking family whose rise to fortune was met with financial doom due to greed and weak leadership. The hero is the black sheep of the family. Without giving too much away, he triumphs in the end, manages to win the love of his life & recovers from the financial bankruptcy with a lot of bravery, wit, honesty & some luck along the way.

6. A book you thought you wouldn't like but ended up loving.

Hmm... this is not a good question for me. Ha ha ha. I am a avid book-worm but I know what I like. So I seldom venture outside of my genres. Some of my favorite authors include Ann Rule, Ken Follet (see number 5), Agatha Christie, Nicci French, Emily Griffin & John Grisham. And I am rarely disappointed with these authors.

7. Name one book that you hope would never, ever get made into a movie (no matter how good the movie is). 

Again, not a very good question for me. Unlike books, I don't have a specific preference because I am not fussy about movies. I watch (most) things. But I do know many people who were disappointed with the Harry Potter & Lord of The Rings stuff. Meh. Just don't compare it!

8. What's the last book you were really excited to read? And, you were excited to read about it in advance? Or did the excitement bloom while you were really reading it? Are there any books that you're excited about right now? 

Source: Google Images

This is an easier question. That has to be Christopher Smith's 'Bullied'. I don't normally read science fiction or supernatural stuff but this one intrigued me because of the subject. The hero is a weak, nerdy high school student who is always bullied by the super cool people at school. Things aren't too good at home either with his parents. Things changed when he discovered an amulet that allows him to wish things at will: wish it and it is yours kind of thing. He uses his power to go after his abusers. The book has four series in it; I've eagerly read three of them and am VERY excited to read the last one on Kindle. Which reminds me to check my Amazon account: OMG book four is already available! Got to download it. He is a new writer so I am pleasantly surprised by how much I enjoyed his books. You won't be able to put them down.

9. What's the largest your personal library has ever been? What's the greatest number of books you have at one time? Err... don't ask. From my favorite writers alone (Follet, Rule, French, Christie) I have nearly all of their books. It's extensive. But now that I have my Kindle, I don't really worry about space. I can own as many books that I like!! I can't wait until Amazon comes up with their own tablet. I will definitely buy it just because of the color Kindle.

10. What is your favorite fictional relationship between characters? Probably the epic love-hate relationship between Aliena & Jack in "The Pillars of the Earth" from Ken Follet. I loved it so much that as soon as the sequel of the book "World without End" was out I immediately read it. What I loved about it was because it was such an improbable and doomed relationship. Jack was poor born and a lot younger than Aliena. There were lots of relationships ups and downs in the book and when it finally happened, you sighed with relief.

11. If you could see one book turned into the perfect movie-one that would capture everything you love, the characters, the look, the feel and the story - what book would you choose?

Refer to question 7. Same answer. :-P

12. Do you prefer to read a book really fast or savor it really slowly? 
Depends if I have time. If I am busy with schoolwork (like right now :-() I would probably pick up a book and take ages to read it. Sigh.

13. What's the latest you've ever stayed up reading a book? Is staying up late reading a usual thing for you? All the time. Yes!! The latest incident was during the last book I read by Emily Griffin, "Something Blue". I ended up going to sleep after Subuh just to finish it. Ha ha ha.

14. Do you read book reviews? Whose do you trust? Do they affect your reading habits? Your buying habits? 

Like Syigim, with my favorite authors I usually read without bothering to read other reviewer's take on it. Certain authors have a style that you will like no matter what the story line. But with authors I am not familiar with, reviews matter a lot because lots of time I ended up not buying a book when an Amazon reviewer tells me not to waste my time, or reading it because of the high reviews. It was based on reviews that I ended up reading and enjoying work by Christoper Smith, Gemma Halliday and also Reed Farrel Coleman.

15. Choose one book as a gift to: 

• My hubby: Probably something IT or photography related? I know he likes those. 
• Father: I know he likes Ken Follet too so this is easy! 
• Mama: It's hard to choose coz she's a reader like me too... Probably something classic like Anne Frank's The Diary of a Young Girl or "Thorn Birds" by Colleen McCullough or a self-help books. I know she reads those on a regular basis. Oh duh! Just remembered her favorite author is James Michener so something from him is a good gift too. 
• My sister in law: She reads chick lit too so she will enjoy the latest by Sophie Kinsella or Emily Griffin. :-) 
• Myself: Hmm... any book on mystery/crime fiction/suspense/thriller would be good for me!

 16. What is your favorite quote from your favorite book?

It's kind of hard to think of it off the bat like this. Kalau teringat nanti update ye. Ha ha.

17. How did you encourage your children start reading books?
I don't have any right now but I know when the time comes I will do the same thing as how I got started. Reading aloud as a habit and rewarding them with books if they behave. :-P

18. Do you like short stories? What do you like about short stories?

Not particularly. If I like the story, if it finishes too quickly I feel dissatisfied. One of the best short stories I've read was actually a local one (surprise, surprise!). It was actually a collection of short stories that appeared in a magazine. What I loved about it was that it was realistic, it featured stories on the lives of all types of women in Malaysia. I can't remember the title though. Subject nature was varied so it kept me interested.

19. Ever received an unexpected gifts of books from your loved one?

No, and I don't expect to. Books are very personal; I'd rather buy one myself and enjoy reading it, rather than receiving a book I know I wont' like from somebody. I think you have to get to know the person real well before giving books as a gift.

I would like to tag these adorable book worms:

a. Kak Lisa

b. Ziah 

c. Anyone who reads books and would like to do this tag!

Phew. Finally, done. :-)

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Surviving wisdom teeth surgery

I had both upper and lower! Source: Dr. Howard Israel

 Finally, I had the surgery, and I'm so glad I did. And I don't ever want to do it again!

I was really nervous prior to the surgery. I met with one general dentist who advised me to do it, one oral surgeon who barked at me saying it was 'risky, with permanent nerve damage!' and finally, one fantastic oral surgeon who told me 'the risks are there, but I am not worried about it'... Add to that, I read so many horror stories about the disadvantages of having wisdom teeth surgery. Don't even read horror stories on the Internet cause it will freak you out, and half the time it's people who've had extremely bad experiences who are venting. Each case is different so yours might not turn out exactly like the ones you are reading on the Net.

The morning of the surgery I was still nervous. I literally panicked when the two dental assistants called me into the operating room. They put me on IV and gave laughing gas to me and I was instantly out. I woke up about 45 minutes later, after the operation was done, and three wisdom teeth were pulled. I remembered nothing! (and I don't want to!). I was still a bit loopy though and now I know why they insist that a person accompany you to the surgery. 

The first day was the worst. I felt like somebody literally sucker punched me in both cheeks and I could barely open my mouth and my jaws felt tired. That's not the worst; I hated having blood ooze out of my mouth and I could eat nothing except for ice cream sundae, mash potatoes and Ensure drinks. The oral surgeon called in the evening to check up on me, but I was still slurring my words and had Sad talk to him. It was nice though of him to follow up. The next day was better though, I had more appetite, there was not much blood but the swelling increased. My cheeks ballooned, a.k.a. chipmunk cheeks! I am also VERY, VERY fed up with soft food. Today, the third day, I am still being careful so I am still eating ice cream, but had a hearty soup and some chicken porridge that made me feel more human! I should be able to eat real food next week, since I don't want to risk getting infected or having dry sockets (which is reportedly very painful). Overall, it was not a bad experience, although one I would not care to repeat.

I am glad that I made the decision to go see the second oral surgeon. Although costly, he was competent, confident and reassuring. So important to go to the right person for these kinds of things. Like my dad says 'its a risk not worth taking'. You can't avoid oral issues, it's just my luck that it happened in the US where dental care is super expensive (although my mum did tell me that it's also expensive in Malaysia!). And I am glad I got it done during the summer break, so I can concentrate on getting better. Now I can study in peace!

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Warning: Wisdom tooth... (Part 2)

Dah lama sangat tak update. Satu sebab sibuk habiskan online class. I got two more days to go, yeay! Dua sebab tengah usaha cari information pasal wisdom tooth. After the last post, I met one oral surgeon, and got promptly shouted at! (boleh?). Plus, he told me that there are many risks involved with extractions at my age and he was reluctant to do it. Terus tak sedap hati, coz I know my general dentist told me that it has to be out, and I am wondering about the clash in information.

Duduk dinegara orang ni, with so many things unsure, you got no one else to rely on except yourself. Thank goodness for pakcik Google! So, I went on the Internet, looked for more information, and found another oral surgeon near my area who came highly recommended. Saw him today, and immediately felt at peace. He was so different from the last oral surgeon I met! He was calm, gentle, kind and reassured me many times. He said he's used to doing these kinds of procedures everyday and I should be fine. Turns out there is not only one tooth that needs to be extracted, but three! And he said that of course there are risks in leaving it in, just as there are risks in extracting it. But he said that since it's still OK, no swelling and no complication YET, it's better to take it out to avoid further risks in the long run. Good news is that I have no gum diseases, sinus looks OK and general oral health is also good. Plus, even though it's really costly, our insurance would cover most of it (I think).

My appointment has been set next Tuesday. Wish me luck, and please pray for me that it goes OK. I hate surgeries, and I hate dentists in general! Will write more later after the surgery...

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Update orang malas :-P

Waity katy no more! Source: Google images

I'm on my summer break at last. Yahoo! (Sekejap je pun). I got summer class but that ain't starting in a week's time. It's nice to finally just sit back and do nothing. Here's some short updates:

1. It's my second year anniversary tomorrow! 
2. This semester was the hardest. I met the strangest academician ever. This person seems to look down on woman (non-Whites, that is). I've got news for you mister, that is not only disgusting but makes you look really, really outdated! I really also hope that I manage to do OK for my three classes. I have just another semester to go to complete my coursework so time is running out for me definitely
3. The weather is really pleasing right now, not too hot nor cold. But it's been raining for a couple of days and hopefully it will stop soon
4. I am not going back this summer like last year. Last year we came back because hubby had things to finish at home but this year we don't have the same excuse (or money for that matter!). I take it as an opportunity to travel close by... maybe a road trip or two. Since we are here, we might as well!

Warning: Wisdom tooth erupting!

Credit: Google Images

Minggu ni minggu paling mencabar for this semester!

I've been nursing a tooth ache on and off for a couple of weeks, and if you've gone through it you know what hell it is! I went to the dentist, and it turns out I have three wisdom tooth that has erupted and needs to be extracted ASAP. Wisdom tooth tends to come out at the ages of 17-21... and if it does, you're lucky coz you're still young! If you're older, recovery period is longer and extraction maybe more complicated. Some people have up till 6 so I guess 3 is not so bad. And some people are lucky because it comes out and doesn't bother them, so extraction is not necessary, but one of mine is actually laying down against the tooth next to it, and that is what's causing the awful pain. Surgery therefore, is inevitable. The dentist gave me some antibiotics till I can get it extracted, so I'm OK right now... I know it sounds kinda childish, but I really don't look forward to sitting at the dentist chair!

Adding to my anxiety, I am not going to my regular dentist here, but it has to be done by an oral surgeon. Also, the worse possible thing you can get here is a tooth ache. Dental treatment (tak kesah lah cleaning, regular check up, root canal etc) is so expensive here! Our insurance only covers up to USD600 per tooth and you still have to pay out of pocket on your own. Of course, waiting period memang lama; you have to wait up to a month to get it done. And you know there's nothing you can do with impacted wisdom tooth, it's out of your control and you have to get it out as soon as possible... Hopefully, this will be the last time I face dental problems here...

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2010: Year in Review

Some of my hopes and dreams for this year. What's yours?

Happy New Year, everyone! (Yeah, it's a tad late). He he he, sorry about that.

This week I am ensconced comfortably in a hotel room in Pittsburgh. Hubby has his residency this week so I am accompanying him here, plus my class starts a week later so I have nothing to do anyway! At first, we felt pretty worried about leaving Toby alone, but a friend kindly agreed to visit him occasionally during the week to play with him and to make sure he has enough food and water. He is such a social cat that I fear he will feel the difference without us being around but that can't be helped right now. Hopefully he will be OK. The place in Pittsburgh where hubby is doing his residency is a larger town of course than where I am living right now. Weather wise though it's almost the same; it's just as cold. I am just very grateful that it's not snowing this week while we travel for two hours back and forth. Sitting in this hotel room, I've had time to reflect on the past year, and I thought it would be fitting to pen it down. Here are some of my thoughts on it.

It's been a pretty tough year because like I've said, we are so far away from family and friends. It's also a tough year because I learned to manage without them (not successfully, at times!) and  had to discern sincere people from those who have a hidden agenda. People are not always kind here but personally, I think I have learned to accept that, painful as it is. I also learned the hard way, that even though we may do things a certain way (for instance, do things sincerely without expecting anything in return) others may not conform to those standards (i.e. one rather unsavory character demanded money for every minuscule 'favors' rendered,  while conveniently forgetting money was already given, and yes, this issue came up almost a year after 'said favor' was rendered! Aiyooo ada jugak orang macam ni. Suka hati ko lah labu asalkan bahagia ). But oh, don't worry we've also made new friends who are surprisingly kind and sincere, and I've learned to differentiate between the two. Adjusting to life in the US this year has I think been a lot smoother. I no longer get puzzled glances at restaurants and shopping mall, and I no longer get surprised being addressed so politely as 'hon', 'ma'am' or 'young lady'. He he he he. Culturally, it's been a learning experience and sometimes it's the smallest things that creeps up on you!

PhD wise, I am still working as hard, but I am also accepting the fact that some thing are out of my control and that if I work hard, and it's rewarded then fine. If it is not, there are other opportunities as well. Individually, I think both of us are settling down to what it means to be married. Phew, being married is pretty hard! (ni takde anak lagi he he he he) but I think it shall be worth the effort you put into it. And it does requires effort and maintenance from both partners. I am very thankful that I have a very supportive husband, Alhamdulillah... Communication I think is key, and I have to still master the art of controlling my emotions when faced with adversity. I think that's a biological difference between men and women, and it's pretty difficult to curb your natural tendencies. Men are more relaxed when faced with difficulties, and women in general tend to let their emotions cloud their judgment. But this is a skill that can be improved so I hope this year will be better!. But the more important thing is to learn from your mistakes and to try to always be a better person. Hubby always reminds me, let other people treat us how they want, we can't control that, what we can do is to never stoop to their level! Perhaps there's a grain of truth in that.He is indeed a lot wiser than me. He he he he.

All in all, I can say that my year has been full of ups and downs. Of course if given a chance, I would have loved to have a second go at how I manage certain things, but overall it's been a pretty good year. I pray that this year will be better, and that my own personal goals (which seem so far away!) will not seem so out of reach...So friends and readers, how have your year been? Do write!

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Got tagged again: Jom Berkenalan

You got that right!

This is a tag from Syigim, as usual. He he he he. Enjoy!

Apakah status anda?

1. Second out of five kids in the family, with the youngest still in primary school, and the oldest is 33!

2. A relatively young wife, who is still learning the ropes... he he he he

3. A dedicated lecturer who struggles hard to balance my personal and working life; after almost a year deactivating my Facebook account, it's still a topic of discussion among my students! Sigh.

4. An easily demotivated PhD student who sometimes wonder if furthering my studies was the right decision or not!

Ceritakan tentang diri anda (ini macam buat ‘my personality’ dalam buku biodata kawan-kawan masa zaman sekolah! hihi)

1. Asal :Always a PJ kid!
2. Pekerjaan: Refer to the previous section
3. Cita-cita: Journalist; got to the interview part and decided not to take the job. I think it was a good decision, considering things.

4. Hobi: Blogging (duh!), reading crime novels (when I'm free), watching movies & TV (to those who say that you are too busy and NEVER have time to do this because you are doing PhD, either (a) you are delusional, (b) you're trying to act superior in front of others ha ha ha (c) you are honestly, really, really hardworking and have exceptional self discipline skills. Any tips?

Ceritakan tentang blog anda:
I would say my blogging forays have several phases. First phase: As a newbie, I used to write whatever I wanted and cared little about how my blog looked like and who read it. Second phase: My students found out and suddenly I had to censor myself! Third phase: While doing my PhD I realized that it's my blog, I can write anything I want but still it's good to be cautious because when it comes to certain things, only your nearest and dearest ones should be privy to it. Right now, my blog is a really good place to vent when I want to relax, and certainly I spend a lot of time changing how it looks and learning hacks because it really relaxes me and I like the challenge of figuring things I don't know.

Apa pandangan anda tentang dunia blog?: 

Blogging is fun, when you get to say what you want and comment on any topic under the sun. Blogging is social because you get to meet people you don't know and reconnect with old friends through it. Blogging is creative for those who enjoy changing the templates or testing their writing skills. Blogging is cathartic because it allows you to vent about any emotional roller coaster currently invading your life. Blogging is reflective because you can sift through current events happening around the world and contribute your two cents on it. (although I rarely do this ha ha ha ha). Blogging is also exhaustive because you have to constantly update it  (or else people will stop visiting) and think of what to say and write. Finally, blogging can be dangerous if the wrong people read what you say, and start to speculate on what it means although it may not have anything at all to do with them (Oh, the burden of being a popular blogger!). Nevertheless, in the blogging world, there is always something in it for everyone, no matter who you are.

Nasihat anda kepada rakan-rakan yang baru nak buat blog: 

Use a pseudonym if the topics you blog about are too private, or make a post private if it's content are too sensitive. And don't blog negative things about your boss or your company, eh so unprofessional lah...Contact HR if you are not satisfied! And if you think they won't find out, I won't bet on it because nothing is private on the Internet! Finally, to girls who are constantly cam-whoring or gay Muslims who enjoy posting sexy pictures of themselves in their personal blogs, carilah cara2 lain untuk popular. Cheap publicity is still publicity is not a good adage!

Nyatakan keunikan yang terdapat pada blog anda:

Hmm... I don't think it's unique in any way, personal blogs are by far the most ubiquitous type of blogs.. but what I do like about my blog is that I get to practice my writing skills. Tak dapat jadi journalist pun takpelah jadi penulis blog tak terkenal pun dah OK ha ha ha

Sampai bilakah anda akan menulis blog dan impian anda dalam dunia blog:

Whenever I have the chance, and the opportunity. I'd especially like to keep it  intact and I would often reread my entries about my PhD journey, just to remind myself that there is light at the end of the tunnel! and yes, it's nice to read and reflect on the progression in my life: dari student, pekerja, orang bujang, isteri orang... and hopefully in the future, Insya-Allah someday, mak orang! 

Akhir sekali, kena tag org yang anda nak kenal sangat:
1. Orang2 yang pemalas update: Junida, Kak Amy, Ziah, Kak Hana & Kak Lisa. Rajin2 lah update OK!
2. Whoever else is reading this, and feels like doing this, feel free!

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Layan...

Don't usually keep with the latest Malay pop music, but I found this cute! It must be the catchy lyrics at work. I've always liked the female singer's voice (she has a powerful voice, and wasn't she one of the singers who provided her voice for one of the late Yasmin Ahmad's movie = Talentime?) but I am not sure who the guy is.  Maybe someone can tell me? Apa-apa pun, layan je lah ye...

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Nostalgia filem 80an

I'm feeling rather homesick this week. One of the banes of living overseas is you constantly have to fight your longing for home. I am not sure how others do it, but I talk to friends back home, text my mum or at least I surf the Net for local gossip. While You Tubing yesterday, I found a whole compilation of old local movies in the 80s and that opened a floodgate of memories. I particularly sniffled at this video of the soundtrack of  my all time favorite "Ali Setan", the evergreen "Wajah Rahsia Hati". How classic! I never get tired of listening to it, and I watch the movie over and over again. Take a peek!

Walking down memory lane, here's my favorite top five Malay movies of the 80s, in no particular order:

• Ali Setan - how hilarious! Several unforgettable seen: Ali getting hit by the egg, the veiled reference to "Katak"  scene in the classroom (I wished I had a lecturer like that!), and of course, scenes during the most famous line in the movie: "tipah tertipu bang, tipah tertipu!". And I'm sure you all noticed how gorgeous Ogy, Liza Abdullah, and Sheila Majid looked. They didn't even need much make up! I love it because the campus scenes always make me think back of my own college years. Interesting tidbit: Abdullah Hassan, the dean pictured in USM did wind up working in my department for a couple of years before retiring (kalau tak silap).
• Dewi Cinta - who remembers this one? A collaborative effort between Malaysia and Indonesia. I think this is where I first fell in love with the Indonesian language and the culture; Dr. Arman's gentle and sweet persona was enough to make you fall head over heels because of his quintessential gallant persona. I've been trying to look for a copy of this over You Tube but no such luck yet. Ogy and Azmil makes a great pairing (again) so that's another reason why I never forgot this movie. Interesting tidbit: Richie Ricardo, who played Dr. Arman died from brain cancer in his early 40s....
• Sikit Punya Gila - this is, I swear, THE MOST HILARIOUS Malay movie of all time in the 1980s. I think it was the antics of Hamid Gurkha that won me over! Tak kering gusi. Favorite scene where Hamid brushes the teeth of the fish prior to cooking it and Yusni Jaafar choking on a corn cob! It's a satisfying movie because although the main character is always down on his luck (Dharma and Hamid G), the underdog manages to win the day because you can't help but root for him! This is also a movie that I can watch repeatedly without feeling bored or disgusted.
• Gila Gila Remaja - directed in 1985, another teen flick like "Ali Setan". I just loved it because  it's fun and light. It is this is the movie that elevated him to heart-throb status. Rosham Nor, I think must be in one of his movie debuts. Dan jgn ingat mat rempit tu zaman skrg je!
• Azura - another Ogy movie. She looked so fresh faced here! Although I don't particularly care for Jamal Abdillah, I loved his duet here with Ogy. Ni cerita sedih and jiwang....

Memang betul filem zaman skrg tak berkualiti macam filem zaman dulu2. I don't really watch Malay movies now; not unless it's by Afdlin Shauki or he's acting in it.  Just for a touch of home, I think I will have another round of "Sikit Punya Gila" tonight! What's your favorite 80s Malay flick?

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Randomness

 Image obtained from this site. Tak kesahlah, asal boleh jalan! :-P

Hey all,

I am still too busy with some stuff. :-P Here's a really short post with totally unrelated items:

• Happiness is about being with my husband and being free to go where we want to go 
• Am I the only one who think American Idol is rather dull this season?
• Wow! Winter is almost ending. No more snow!!!
• I have a gathering with some lovely Malaysian ladies tomorrow. Hello, biryani! :-)
• I finally have a supervisor. Ain't that great? :-)
• Have a good weekend, people!

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Crazy week ahead

I have a really crazy week ahead (mid-term, concept worksheet and seminar paper all back to back), so I need to take a break from blogging awhile. Take care OK guys and stay tuned. :-P BTW, I watched 'Julie & Julia' this weekend and it was so good. Can't wait to write a review. :-)

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My toothy problem

OK, in the midst of all that chaos before flying, I wished I had more time to spend on my teeth. Now I so regret it! When I first flew here, one of my tooth which had undergone root canal, was soon sporting a hole. Then I realized that the filling was giving way, and soon there was a pretty deep hole.

Now I have a bad relationship with the dentist. I just don't like 'em. He he he. After a substantial time on the dentist chair fixing my teeth, putting on braces and taking it off I just didn't want to go there very often. And I knew it was going to be expensive here in the US, especially as the health care is expensive. Our insurance only covers USD600 per tooth, itupun kene claim and reimburse later. We've heard stories from other students and also from the e-forum discussion that the claim would also take time. Standard lah kan?

Anyway, despite all that I didn't want to delay it any longer. What if the hole gets bigger and I cannot fix it anymore? And I didn't know when we would go back home. Lucky I did. I read on the Internet that if I'd delay it longer there would be complications later on, which would still be more expensive, and the tooth might not even be possible to save. Had my temporary crowned done this week and the permanent one would be ready in two weeks time. I like the dentist here. She was gentle, and although she gossiped throughout the session with her assistant, she also provided a rather detailed play by play of what's happening to reduce my anxiety. (although I didn't like that she addressed me as 'missy'. It made me feel like a little kid!). The assistant was even better. She was humorous and kept up trivial talk with me throughout the way to alleviate my distress.

Hope that it will be the last time thought that I have to visit the dentist. It's just too expensive of a problem here to be fixed.

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Goodbye '09 and hello '10!

Goodbye '09
Wow... I can't believe that this year is nearly ending. I think this year has been one of the most hectic but happiest year of my life. Here's a few reasons why:

10th of May, 2009

a. I am now a Mrs!

After three years together, I finally tied the knot with the best man I know. We've been through a lot, and there were times where I thought we were not going to make it but Allah knows best why things are the way there are. And I can say with conviction that even though there maybe more adventures ahead, I couldn't have gotten a better mate! To dearest hubby, I love you so much! :-)

Oh, how I miss him! :-)

Oh well... Betty is always here to cheer us up! :-P

b. And away we go....

One of my other dreams have also been realized in '09, which if you have been following my blog you would know... :-P I've always wanted to do my PhD overseas seeing as my Bachelor's degree and my Masters was done locally. I am just beginning my journey but have come to realize a few important things. The most difficult is not adjusting academically, but it is to survive being far away from home and being in a strange land. And you know what? Family is never something that you can substitute!
c. Grow much?
I think I've changed this year, and in a good way. I've learned to be more assertive, and I've learned to drop people who I think don't matter. Job wise, I think I've become less naive, and better at dealing with office politics. I've also picked up some wifely skills that I never thought I would enjoy: cooking! So if there's hope for me, there's hope for everyone out there! He he he he.

Hello '10
I'd like to say that I have a solid new year resolution, but I really don't. I don't believe in it. I tend to set impossibly high standards and then berate myself for not achieving it. So lets just say I will weather the storm as they come and will try my best. :-) Specific things though that I would like to wish for in the coming new year:
a. Mastering that PhD journey
I would like to start another blog to document my PhD journey. At the moment, I am toying with the idea of using my old blog, which I loved the template and the beautiful header, thanks to this lovely lady!. I think documenting my journey would be a very useful thing; I could jot down ideas for proposals etc. More importantly, by documenting my journey, once I finish I can see that even though it has been hard, I managed to get through it. I'd also like to get involved more in class; I think I've largely focused on being adjusted this year. Next year I'd like to maybe get to know my instructors more (research line wise) and maybe approach one or two whom I would like to learn more from. It is a bit early, but wouldn't it be nice to actually present a paper in the future in NCA?
b. Being a better wife
Well, this is rather abstract but I would like to try to be a better spouse to my husband. He's been such a wonderful support system to me that I would like to give back that and so much more to him. Good luck for your GRE and TOEFL yang, I know you can do it! :-)
c. Pitter patter of little feet
Ah, wouldn't this be nice? :-)
d. Coming from you, it's: "Snarky + Sarcastic = Snarkastic!" and I don't effing care!
I tend to care too much about what people think. I let snarky comments from people affect me, especially from people that really don't matter in my life. So personally, in 2010 I'd like to do the worrying less and taking stock of comments ONLY from people who matter.

p.s: Looking at my list, it doesn't look that hard to do! He he he he.

Happy New Year, readers and friends! Thanks for reading this rather rambling post, and for continuing to read my nonsense! What are your new year resolutions?

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The big 3-0!

The birthday cream cake and the candle

The birthday girls

The restaurant; to signal opening hours they usually beat a gong

Yesterday, I celebrated my first birthday in Kent. It was appropriate too, as I just finished my exam.

It was a good day! Sad and me went to have lunch at Yellow Tail, a sushi place in Fairlawn. It felt so good to have so many food choices when dining out. And owh, for USD10 buffet, it's kind on the pockets, too! The food was great; for those who don't like sushi they also had other options, tempura of different kinds, yellow noodles (which I don't know the name). The service was also OK, and the waiter was pretty friendly. We let slip that it was our birthdays, and the waitress and two others came out with two small cream cake with candles, got us to blow the candles, sang us happy birthday (in Japanese) and gave us a gong to hit as a sign of good luck! Wasn't that great? I feel so special! (even better if they gave us lunch for free ha ha ha ha). :-)

This year my birthday is particularly meaningful. I got married to a wonderful man, and started my PhD program in the US, which is something I've worked so hard for. It gets lonely here at times, and I really miss my family. Unlike my peers who may already be starting their own families, buying their own house etc, I may not have much... but it's MORE than enough for me. :-) Enjoy the pictures uploaded here, (sorry, no pictures of sushi I was too busy eating!) and have a good weekend, people!

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