Silent Scribbler: Somber

Showing posts with label Somber. Show all posts

Terrible weekend!

Source: Phd Comics (funny stuff!)

What a terrible weekend, health-wise!

I am still holed up in the apartment most of the time, trying to study for comps. Last weekend was no different. On Saturday I was working and trying to print a bunch of notes and the cat lunged towards the printer. Foolishly I tried to lift him from the printer to prevent him from grabbing the papers that was coming out from the printer and he was so jumpy he scratched me in a bunch of places! (including neck, both wrists, fingers). Now Toby is quite a good cat; I can count the number of times he scratched me and the times he has hissed from the three years he has been with us. He only scratches or hiss when he feels threatened, scared or surprised; which I suppose is a primal reaction common to animals. I didn't realize how bad it was until I looked at myself in the mirror. There was quite a bit of blood, my necklace was ripped from my neck (and chain broke sob sob) and I saw puncture wounds in my wrist. I didn't really think anything of it; dressed my wounds and bandaged it and continue working. By night however, one finger has swelled and I couldn't bend it.

So, the next day we went to a minute clinic in CVS (was a Sunday and it was conveniently open and no appointment needed!). The nurse told me I was indeed infected and she prescribed some antibiotics for me. I did swipe my wounds with alcohol and some ointment but apparently it just didn't work. Today, the swelling has gone down although my right index finger still looked a tad fat. :-( Hopefully it will be OK by tomorrow; its my typing hand OK! More cause for concern though it's my blood pressure. She did say it wasn't high but borderline worrying. I told her I had exams so maybe that's why it spiked up. I haven't had much sleep over the last two months and I've been waking up at night worrying about my comps. I know my sedentary and stressful life-style (especially for the last two months) is also to be blamed: e.g. convenient and infrequent meals, long hours in front of the PC reading and typing, limited sun (to be fair, it's almost winter!) and lack of fresh air... I swear I will have to do some life-style changes once I finish my comps!! I have to.

It made me think if all of this is worth it. Working towards a PhD for the last three years of my life is costing me a lot: having offsprings, buying a house in Malaysia, spending time with family and now my health. I could probably have better coping skills, but doing a PhD is stress inducing for anyone, and especially challenging for an international student not used to the US (or any other foreign country) education system. I just have to accept that this is my challenge, complain less and do better. It feels good though to let this out. Now, excuse me while I get back to work. :-P

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Setting the record straight

Finally, fall is here. Sigh. The weather is colder now with no sunshine left. There's about two more months left though before winter comes so I am going to enjoy this weather for as long as I can. This week, things have finally settled a bit. I am still though chasing a deadline, while still taking one class. I am not sure if I can reach the deadline, but I am going try my hardest to do it. If things work out, I can sit for my CE next semester.

Academics aside, there's something that I've been meaning to write for the longest time. I deactivated my FB almost a year ago, and I don't miss it at all! I've written before, why I deactivated the account. First and foremost, I was spending too much time on it that I wasn't doing much else. That was not good. Secondly, I felt that people, and I mean people I hardly know were taking an inordinate interest in my life. When this 'nosiness' started to affect and infringe my professional life, that was when I drew the line (e.g. rumors about me were reaching my bosses back home. If it were true, it's OK but it wasn't and it was affecting my job!). If you are a narcissist/exhibitionist, I guess you won't feel that would be much of a problem. But I am rather private (some of you might ask, why have a blog? Well, that can be elaborated in a different post ha ha ha), so I feel that is an invasion of my privacy. There is of course the privacy setting which one can adjust, but after a while, that got tiresome for me. I got tired of filtering my life for a bunch of people I did not care about. It was exhausting, tedious and took time. So the easiest was to just to deactivate the account. I figured I could just log on as usual if I missed it. And so far, I don't. Not even a bit.

Of course the downside is I miss my friends. The close ones that really matter, that is. Turns out, I can still keep in touch with them via e-mail, or even call them via Skype if I feel like it! And yes, the ones that truly appreciated the friendship has put in effort to keep in touch, despite me being without it. I learned to make friends and maintain friendships before it existed, and I found out that I can still do those things without it! Another downside is of course some foolish people creating rumors that I deleted them from my FB account. First of all, that is very childish (yes, somebody did that TO ME, but did I go around spreading rumors about it?). Secondly, why do you assume that you are so important to me that I would spend any amount of negative energy deleting you from my FB? I have better things to do (and come to think of it so should YOU). So get the facts straight, I did not delete you from FB, I deactivated my account. It's funny that you wanted us to not bother you, but you would waste your time in trivial pursuits like spreading lies. Tak penat kah? :-P Oh for those of you contemplating of deactivating your account, this is an interesting read on why one would do so; click here. I don't know if I necessarily agree with all the points, but it was an amusing read. :-)

So overall, while it was fun while it lasted I just don't need it right now. Yes, I do realize that it's rather ironic for an Internet researcher not to have a FB account, but there is always the log on option if I want it back in my life. And there's nothing wrong with you if you are a FB addict, just don't let it rule every aspect of your life. And if you get tired of it and want to try something else, there's always Twitter or Google Plus. He he he.

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Demam!

Surviving wisdom teeth surgery

I had both upper and lower! Source: Dr. Howard Israel

Finally, I had the surgery, and I'm so glad I did. And I don't ever want to do it again!

I was really nervous prior to the surgery. I met with one general dentist who advised me to do it, one oral surgeon who barked at me saying it was 'risky, with permanent nerve damage!' and finally, one fantastic oral surgeon who told me 'the risks are there, but I am not worried about it'... Add to that, I read so many horror stories about the disadvantages of having wisdom teeth surgery. Don't even read horror stories on the Internet cause it will freak you out, and half the time it's people who've had extremely bad experiences who are venting. Each case is different so yours might not turn out exactly like the ones you are reading on the Net.

The morning of the surgery I was still nervous. I literally panicked when the two dental assistants called me into the operating room. They put me on IV and gave laughing gas to me and I was instantly out. I woke up about 45 minutes later, after the operation was done, and three wisdom teeth were pulled. I remembered nothing! (and I don't want to!). I was still a bit loopy though and now I know why they insist that a person accompany you to the surgery.

The first day was the worst. I felt like somebody literally sucker punched me in both cheeks and I could barely open my mouth and my jaws felt tired. That's not the worst; I hated having blood ooze out of my mouth and I could eat nothing except for ice cream sundae, mash potatoes and Ensure drinks. The oral surgeon called in the evening to check up on me, but I was still slurring my words and had Sad talk to him. It was nice though of him to follow up. The next day was better though, I had more appetite, there was not much blood but the swelling increased. My cheeks ballooned, a.k.a. chipmunk cheeks! I am also VERY, VERY fed up with soft food. Today, the third day, I am still being careful so I am still eating ice cream, but had a hearty soup and some chicken porridge that made me feel more human! I should be able to eat real food next week, since I don't want to risk getting infected or having dry sockets (which is reportedly very painful). Overall, it was not a bad experience, although one I would not care to repeat.

I am glad that I made the decision to go see the second oral surgeon. Although costly, he was competent, confident and reassuring. So important to go to the right person for these kinds of things. Like my dad says 'its a risk not worth taking'. You can't avoid oral issues, it's just my luck that it happened in the US where dental care is super expensive (although my mum did tell me that it's also expensive in Malaysia!). And I am glad I got it done during the summer break, so I can concentrate on getting better. Now I can study in peace!

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