Silent Scribbler: Musings

Showing posts with label Musings. Show all posts

So near and yet so far!

It's been so long since I've written here. Most of the time it's because I'm lazy, at other times I've got nothing interesting to write about, and hence my blog is gathering virtual dust. :-P

We are nearly at the end of the journey: less than a year to go before my scholarship runs out... I've finished my exams, and am now officially a PhD candidate. Now, I've got to focus on my prospectus and get moving in order to graduate on time. I am finding it hard though to motivate my self lately; lack of regimented schedules and self-appointed deadlines tend to do that to you. Plus, I am rather lucky to get a supervisor who's kind of laissez faire; she's not really the type to brandish a whip! (ha ha). But yes, the thought of being stuck here without money scares me enough to know that I have to work harder! Lately, I am more homesick than ever; I can't wait to get it done and go home! I have this gnawing feeling that life is at a standstill and it's time to move on! People think it's exciting to be in the States doing your PhD, but believe me there is nothing to envy! I know I am learning a lot more here, much more than I would have had I been in Malaysia (not just in terms of academic life) but I am also losing a lot: sacrificing my physical health (stress will do that to you!), buying a house, having kids, spending time with my family etc. I am luckier than most that I have my other half here, and I should be grateful for that but it's doubly hard also for both of us in terms of coping with the challenges that come, financially, emotionally, physically etc. If I looked back, and knowing what I do now, I am not sure if I would have made the same decision. I would have in hindsight perhaps, chosen to study at a country where I can come home easier (on the pocket + less distance) so I can fall back on family support if I needed it... Well, you can't turn back time or regret your decisions but I am not 100% sure that this is the path that I would have chosen had I had an alternative...

Well, on to more errr... less gloomy things. :-P We've had bouts of really bad flu for the last week or so. I've been lucky that in the four years that I've been here this is the first time I've had it so bad. Probably because the weather has been the coldest it has been since 2009. And with winter comes a host of other problems: our car has been causing a lot of problem lately because of it! Tapi nak ganti sayang kan coz it cost money, and we have less than two years to go so we will probably bear with it till the end. Jgn sebut2 nak ganti, nanti kereta tu merajuk! ha ha ha

All in all, I can't really wait for this journey to be over and move on to other, more important things!

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Malas

Time to pack up!

Home is where the heart is!

This is my first post in Malaysia, after almost two years! We are back home for three months during the summer holiday. Being home, and comfortably ensconced in this familiar and comforting environment, how I wished I didn't have to go back to the US! These are the things I've noticed in my one month stay:

The weather is uncomfortably sticky, sweltering and humid! Or is it just me? It seems that KL is dry, and rain comes very sparingly. We are currently testing a portable air cooler; it helped some but it's still bloody hot, even at night!
Harga barang dah naik, as expected! I had to pay RM3 for a glass of teh ais the other day, and the taxi fare from KL Sentral to DU has increased from RM12 to RM18. Tak bestnya!
The food here still rocks! I've been having my fair share of nasi lemak, teh ais, and satay and I still want more! A restaurant behind my parent's place just opened and they have the best laksa & mee bandung. And it's nice to know that even late at night, if you have a hankering for mee goreng mamak, it's just a short drive away!
My little brother is little no more. :-( He's 12 and now taller than me. How fast time flies! When I finish my PhD he will probably be in high school. My nephew is already in primary school and I am enjoying bonding and chatting with my niece; last time I was home she was too shy and didn't speak much. I am glad that I got this chance to spend time with my family...
Of course, places I know have changed. OU is no longer simple; I really got lost there a couple of times I went there. Jusco is now AEON and some shops moved/disappeared. I mentioned ATRIA, the nearest shopping complex to my school and to my horror it's no longer there! I haven't gone into town yet but I am sure I will be just as confused. Sigh.

How I wished I had more time to spend at home and that I am done with everything. Unfortunately, there is still much to do in the US. I shall have to savor the precious time home and enjoy what I have. Hopefully, things will go smoothly and I will return home for good in two more years.

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Overdue update!

For me unfortunately, 'lazy not just today but almost daily! he he he Source: Google images

It would seem that I am blogging less and less lately. :-P Therefore, this is my half-hearted attempt at trying to update my blog. Short spurts of updates is about all I can manage right now. He he he.

It's winter... going into spring. I am so grateful that this winter has been really kind. Very few snow storms. Not too cold. Even some sunshine once in a while. Today, it was snowing briefly but I think it will stop soon. Yeay!
I've given my SV an outline of my prelim paper. She hasn't given me a feedback yet, but I am writing my paper in the meanwhile and hoping that the corrections aren't too bad. I am OK with my topic and I think I won't be bored of it by the time I defend my prospectus!
Emee is probably coming during her spring break. I am very looking forward to it, and I hope it materializes. We have visited her in Chicago so it's time for her to return the visit. I will also use her visit as an excuse to get a little break he he he
Sad has to renew his passport and we might have to do it in NY. I am not sure when we will go but hopefully sometime when the weather is more forgiving
My brother got married last week. It saddens me a bit not to be there but it can't be helped and I am glad we have a new family member. Welcome to the family, Nani!
The Oscars is tomorrow, can't wait to watch it. Haven't seen any of the movie in the list, except for The Help. Though, am rooting for Meryl Streep FTW! (can't stand smug Rooney Mara; don't care how good the movie was! And I did like the Swedish version)
Did you guys read about the father who shot his daughter's laptop because she was rude to him on FB? Moral of the story: A bit OTT, I know but be careful what you say on social networking websites, OK! Dr. Phil berated him but I am not sure how I would react if my kid badmouths me on social network so I am in no position to judge. :-P If you didn't, you can read about it here.
Enjoy the weekend, people. :-)

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All-American Muslims @ TLC

This is a new show on American Muslims that debuted in TLC a couple of weeks ago. I hadn't had a chance to watch it until this week. I was very excited to see a show about Muslims in American in the midst of all the anti-Muslim sentiment in the US. This show follows the lives of Arab Muslims in Dearborn. You can watch the trailer I posted above.

I have mixed feelings about it. It's exciting what they are trying to do... I hope that in the end, it educates and let people know that Islam is a peaceful religion. And just like they are many different kinds of Christian or Buddhists, they are also many different kinds of Muslims. Some Muslims are devout, some are less so. Some are even kind of liberal. I am just wondering though about the choice of location. Why Dearborn? And why Arab Muslims? What about African Americans who are Muslims? Indian/Pakistani Muslims? Surely, the Muslim community is more diverse than that. But perhaps, as somebody mentioned, they chose Arab Muslims for a specific reason.

I get asked this question a whole lot in class, too. How do you feel about being Muslim in a non-Muslim country? Honestly, it is a question that has not occurred to me much, meaning I do not lose a lot of sleep about it because I come from a Muslim country where the question of my religion is not made salient. Here, sure I stick out like a sore thumb because of my hijab. But to say that it's difficult to practice my faith would be a stretch. It's not hard at all. I do things like I would do back home. I pray. I cook halal meat. We go to the mosque for Eid prayers (kalau rajin he he he!) and Sad goes to the mosque every Friday for prayers. I am perhaps also rather lucky as I am located in a university campus where my identity, although not well understood is tolerated. Just last week a classmate of mine asked me very politely why I wear the hijab and other Muslims (that he has seen) do not, and I was happy to oblige. I dare say if I was in another part of the US, such tolerance may be limited, or might not even exist. So I am happy to be where I am.

And I find it easier to deal with non-Muslims who accept our faith tolerantly, and with an open mind compared to other pseudo Muslims who drink and dress scantily, and look down on other Muslims who do not! (and there are quite a few here, mind you! :-P). Practice your faith if you want, but do not look down, condescend, insult or argue with others who choose not to. That's my take on it. After all... la ikraha fiddin...

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Setting the record straight

Finally, fall is here. Sigh. The weather is colder now with no sunshine left. There's about two more months left though before winter comes so I am going to enjoy this weather for as long as I can. This week, things have finally settled a bit. I am still though chasing a deadline, while still taking one class. I am not sure if I can reach the deadline, but I am going try my hardest to do it. If things work out, I can sit for my CE next semester.

Academics aside, there's something that I've been meaning to write for the longest time. I deactivated my FB almost a year ago, and I don't miss it at all! I've written before, why I deactivated the account. First and foremost, I was spending too much time on it that I wasn't doing much else. That was not good. Secondly, I felt that people, and I mean people I hardly know were taking an inordinate interest in my life. When this 'nosiness' started to affect and infringe my professional life, that was when I drew the line (e.g. rumors about me were reaching my bosses back home. If it were true, it's OK but it wasn't and it was affecting my job!). If you are a narcissist/exhibitionist, I guess you won't feel that would be much of a problem. But I am rather private (some of you might ask, why have a blog? Well, that can be elaborated in a different post ha ha ha), so I feel that is an invasion of my privacy. There is of course the privacy setting which one can adjust, but after a while, that got tiresome for me. I got tired of filtering my life for a bunch of people I did not care about. It was exhausting, tedious and took time. So the easiest was to just to deactivate the account. I figured I could just log on as usual if I missed it. And so far, I don't. Not even a bit.

Of course the downside is I miss my friends. The close ones that really matter, that is. Turns out, I can still keep in touch with them via e-mail, or even call them via Skype if I feel like it! And yes, the ones that truly appreciated the friendship has put in effort to keep in touch, despite me being without it. I learned to make friends and maintain friendships before it existed, and I found out that I can still do those things without it! Another downside is of course some foolish people creating rumors that I deleted them from my FB account. First of all, that is very childish (yes, somebody did that TO ME, but did I go around spreading rumors about it?). Secondly, why do you assume that you are so important to me that I would spend any amount of negative energy deleting you from my FB? I have better things to do (and come to think of it so should YOU). So get the facts straight, I did not delete you from FB, I deactivated my account. It's funny that you wanted us to not bother you, but you would waste your time in trivial pursuits like spreading lies. Tak penat kah? :-P Oh for those of you contemplating of deactivating your account, this is an interesting read on why one would do so; click here. I don't know if I necessarily agree with all the points, but it was an amusing read. :-)

So overall, while it was fun while it lasted I just don't need it right now. Yes, I do realize that it's rather ironic for an Internet researcher not to have a FB account, but there is always the log on option if I want it back in my life. And there's nothing wrong with you if you are a FB addict, just don't let it rule every aspect of your life. And if you get tired of it and want to try something else, there's always Twitter or Google Plus. He he he.

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Chicago the windy city!

Last year, I found out that one of my closest uni friend, Emee would be in the US to continue her Masters. I was very happy to hear that! It's nice to have a friend from back home to talk to. So we decided to help her out when she came to settle down. We knew how hard it would be to settle down in a foreign country without a familiar face, as we had gone through the same process. I was luckier because I had a husband with me, and I was located in a very small, university town so getting around was not so hard (except in winter). She came last month, and as soon as both of us had some free time we packed our stuff and headed to Chicago last week!

University of Chicago: Image courtesy of Google Images

It takes about six hours to get from Ohio to Chicago. She got a place in the University of Chicago, which is actually located in the middle of town, very much like University of Akron, I think. Her apartment is minutes away from her school building, so that was good. Build in the 1890s, its really one of the more established private universities in the US. Transportation was very complicated; it is after all one of the biggest cities in the US also. She had access to subways and LRT but you have to get your bearings right and learn how to navigate the area before even attempting to get on the train. Even getting to the next neighborhood was very confusing for me. And coming from a small town, I was really, really scared in Chicago. Her apartment was of course in university campus, but it's open campus so next door was not a very safe neighborhood. As with Kent, you have police escorts walking with students after dark, but I've never seen so many police car patrolling the neighborhood at such a frequent rate! And of course, I was struck with the living expenses. Where I am, USD600++ for a one bedroom apartment is considered expensive, but she is staying in a studio apartment at the same rate, and that is considered cheap!!! And if you are used to small town driving, it was quite a shock to be back in a big city. I think hubby was given the horn more than once; people are so impatient! You rarely see drivers in small town being impatient. I guess life is much more laid back where I am currently living in. The diversity of the city was evident; you can see people of different races walking around in different parts of the city, and some university cafes even sold food catered to Muslim students.

Another thing that surprised me was the prevalence of halal @ zabihah food in her neighborhood. She had at least one good halal store (Valley of Jordan, I think it's called) and the food pricing was relatively inexpensive too compared to our halal store (perhaps due to competition, they probably had a larger market to cater to there)! Plus, the owner was super friendly. We also found a halal restaurant right near her neighborhood called Numeca. I had the Chicken BLT there which was really, really good. The owner is African Muslim, and there was even a Masjid there near the restaurant.

Chinatown, Chicago. Image courtesy of Google Images

We only spent two days there so I can't tell you much about the great tourist attraction there; I was told they have great museums (Museum of Science and Industry), the aquarium (Shedd aquarium) and the Millennium Park (which I think we drove by on our way to the premium outlet). We did however, see the sears tower from afar, and dropped by Chinatown (to go to the Asian store). (sorry, no personal pictures. I took some, but quality wasn't that good... plus, all three of us were not cam-whoring type of people he he he).

Sears Tower. Image courtesy of Google Images

To Emee, hope you have settled down properly, and we will see you again soon when we have the time. Don't worry, as long as we are still here we will help you the best way we can. It was nice to see a familiar face in Obama land. He he he he. As for me, I am glad to be living in a small town! Sure, it's less exciting, but much less expensive and a lot more 'tame'. Plus, my studies would not be any easier even if in a different place!

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It's funny...

Our 'college' road trip

Indiana university: a typical American campus

Although I still have an ongoing online summer class, we still wanted to take short summer trips to relax. So last Friday, me, hubby and Haru packed our bags and headed to Indiana.

Why Indiana? Sad had a colleague there who's also doing her PhD and she and hubby welcomed us to stay. She was very helpful; we managed to book two apartments which were not only cheap but comfy enough per her advice. We debated whether we wanted to stay at her house (she initially insisted that we did) but I wasn't comfortable with it. She already has three kids (one, a newborn) and we didn't want to impose. I've had people who attempted to 'impose' on us a couple of times already and I know how that feels. And I'm glad we didn't. When we arrived, her student apartment was so cramped! Although it was two floors, the kitchen was tiny and they had just enough place for a sofa and dining table in the living room. And I was amused to see that although the place she stayed in was in the outskirts and far away from town, it was more expensive than our place! The impact of the recent tornado was also evident; a huge tree was cut off outside the house and the roof of the apartment appear bent as a result.

What I loved the most though was that she had other Malaysian families staying nearby and also some twenty odd undergraduate students in the same complex. It's really helpful and their camaraderie was genuine enough. You could tell. Students dropped by her apartment late at night and they even played with her two young sons. She's very lucky! We aren't as lucky; having other students in the same boat really will help you, I think. At least you have others that can share your experience and help you in case of trouble. And yes, they might be less judgmental when you tell them you have lots to do and aren't able to entertain them if they drop by or if you can't participate in certain events.

Maxwell hall: Indiana cut limestone building

Saturday we spent having a barbecue in the nearby state park. It was sweltering hot! The food was good and the park was beautiful so we had a really good time. We wanted to visit the lake nearby but it was closed because the recent rain had raised the water level and it was considered dangerous to be in that area unless you had a boat with you. After lunch, they also brought us to see the campus. I loved it! As typical as most other US campus, it had tons of trees and undisturbed animals (e.g. squirrels, rabbits etc) running around campus grounds. The unique part about the campus was the preserved Indiana-cut lime stone buildings. I also loved the student center (unfortunately it was closed for the weekend) which came complete with cafes (we spotted one Star Bucks and Burger King), bookstore and even a bowling alley! The downtown was even more interesting. I loved the food fusion there; they had not only American restaurants (e.g. little Italian pizzerias, burger joints, fast food) but also Middle-Eastern, Japanese, Chinese, Indian and three Thai restaurants! For a small town, it was impressive (and better than Kent!). I saw a theater there too, but apparently it's not a movie theater, but showcases old films and things like that.

After Indiana, we stopped by in Columbus. Again, I am struck with the community unity and am pleasantly surprised with the hospitality of the Malaysian and Indonesian families there. Other people are so lucky! There were about 3-4 families there and even though we didn't know them we certainly had a good time getting to know them! They were friends of Haru that she met during her previous Fulbright conference. Columbus is a much bigger town than Kent, and more expensive. The university housing was comfortable but costly. From one family we met, the wife had to work part time at a nearby hotel as a cleaning crew just to make ends meet. And she did it so cheerfully too, and I respected her for that. Instead of complaining of being bored by having 'nothing to do' and lack of money etc (like some people we know! ha!), or being ashamed at having to work in such jobs, she said simply 'I have no choice, I have to help my husband'. On top of that she had two young children to take care of. Her patience, humility, and cheerful disposition really humbled me. We also met a very nice young Malaysian couple just embarking on their PhD program, with two young children. Needless to say, we will probably be dropping by there again now that we have people to visit! (and it's only two hours away). Plus, there is a halal fast food Popeye restaurant there that I will want to go again. Ha ha ha ha. We didn't have time to visit the OSU campus (reportedly also beautiful) too so that's also a good excuse to come back!

This short trip was tiring, but in a way refreshing. I was really going on a downward spiral of being totally drained with my studies. Meeting other people who successfully juggle family and their studies, intercultural challenges and still being able to maintain a positive outlook was definitely inspirational. I also appreciated the hospitality shown to us by the Malaysian and Indonesian families that we visited. See, there are nice people out there! Plus, US is really pretty during summer. We will plan more short road trips in the near future.

ps: Kalau rajin nanti upload lagi gambar. Heh.

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Update orang malas :-P

The kids are all right!

Wow... it's been quite some time since the last update. I've been busy tying things up for this semester, and I think I am doing OK for my classes except for Stats III. The instructor is mercurial, very prone to sudden outbursts and plays favorites in class. Therefore, things are definitely unpredictable. Last semester for Stats II, we could tell the lowest grade we were getting was a 'B' (and that is guaranteed even though you get all As for your assignments!) but this semester what worries me is that the lowest grade is a 'C'. A 'C' is bad because I have to repeat the subject, and I know this won't be offered again next semester because he is leaving and they haven't found a replacement for him yet. Oh well... as usual I try my very best and hope that everything is OK. People often ask me about my grades in grad school. Really, it doesn't really matter because at the end of the day, in the academic world people look at the quality of your thesis. All the 'As' in the class don't really matter if you can't apply it all to a good thesis!

Add to that my classmates (who are mostly Americans) are really very laid back about grades and are not really competitive. And I love it this semester that there are about 5 of us in the same boat and we are working together (e.g sharing notes, doing homework together)... that definitely takes the stress out of things. However, things are not the same in all departments. I was shocked when somebody I knew (who was in a different course, and in an almost all international students kind of course) remarked that she didn't care about the 'learning' in class and was intent on collecting all As and getting a 4.0 every semester!!! This was rather strange coming from a grad student OK! And isn't that a lot of pressure on yourself? But who am I to say... he he he he he. Students in Malaysia are typically concerned about getting As all the time through regurgitating and taking as many extra classes as they can. An education system that is set up in rewarding academic achievement by how many As you get... can you really blame them?

Original poster. Source: Google images and this website

Anyway... I digress. I wanted to write about the movie I saw recently. I know, I know, it's a bit late to write about it since the Oscars already came and went but this movie is totally worth the watch. You should already know that I guess from the all star cast: Annette Bening, Julianne Moore, Mark Ruffalo... I now know why some people thought that Annette Bening should have won for her portrayal as half lesbian couple. It was interesting that they portrayed lesbian couples are very similar to the traditional hetero couples; one is earning and the other one keeps house. Annette is excellent as the 'man of the house': self-absorbed, tight assed, overworked and over-entitled! Their kids grows up wondering who their father is and they seek out their sperm donor, a rather disheveled looking Mark Ruffalo. Turns out he wants to play dad without having the burden of responsibility, and is rather a cad. He turns out sleeping with one of the lesbians (huh??) whilst having already an affair with another young lady working in his cafe (he has his own business). BTW, that young lady is played by Yaya DeCosta who was formerly in America's Next Top Model. I must say she's a pretty decent actress! (better than expected!). Lest I spoil the plot for you (TMI?) all is well in the end. I really loved their realistic treatment of the modern blended American family and the sensitive portrayal of how lesbian couples face the same problems like all other couples: empty nest syndrome, defining success with academic achievement, not taking for granted your partner etc. I am not sure if this movie has been (or will be) shown in Malaysia due to the sensitive topic, but if you have a chance to watch this, please do! Watch the trailer, too if you're curious!

Have a great week, everybody!

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Nak jawab apa ek?

Strange encounters

Source: Google images

A series of weird occurence this week...

Strange encounter 1

This is a second hand account, as hubby saw it, not me! A naked man was seen running around outside our apartment. Seeing as it was freezing cold (snow storm!) it was a bit strange. Somebody suggested that it was a sorority pledge being hazed but I doubt it was because hubby said he was old (had wrinkly skin!) When he saw hubby, he panicked and quickly ran into his car. My guess is that he was out to surprise someone (eh?) or he was drunk. Probably the latter!

Strange encounter 2

Well this one is not exactly strange but more like chance encounter. Entering the education building for my statistics class, I saw a lovely middle east (at least I think so) lady with jubah and proper hijab. It's not often that I meet a fellow Muslimah, so I gave her salam. She responded. Since she looked friendly I meant to just give her a customary greeting (i.e. how are you) in English but it came out in Arabic! (apa kes?!). Macam mana kalau: (a) salah sebut dah lah tak fasih pastu rudimentary phrases pun tak berapa ingat ha ha ha ha ha and (b) if she's not Arab, or an American Arab? I've learned not to take things for granted in this land of melting pot. I've been mistaken for an Indonesian, a Chinese or a Thai, and hubby of course has been mistaken as Hispanic (is that why we've been getting friendly smiles or curious looks in certain parts of town?). Luckily, she replied appropriately so I wasn't too far off!

Strange encounter 3

OK people here are a lot friendly than people back home. I've been schooled not to be friendly with strangers, nor do I carry prolonged and personal conversations (Dr. L calls it 'painful self-disclosure' ha ha ha ha ha) with sales clerk. Anyway, we were looking for a 24 hour diner yesterday. It was in a part of town that we weren't really familiar with. We found it but had to reverse our car and cross the road as we had accidentally passed it. When we got there, a stranger was barricading the door. I think he was smoking. Anyway, I was guilty of stereotyping as he looked like a trucker and he was red in the face and mumbling so I thought that he was drunk. He gestured to us and started talking. We responded politely and went inside the diner. Story end? Err... not yet. He followed us, and walked right to our table and proceeded to ramble for at least 15 minutes! I couldn't understand him at times as his speech was garbled. Hubby thought he was not drunk, and he was just being friendly. But he was quite menacing in appearance, and although I feel a bit shame-faced for assuming that he had something up his sleeve, he probably meant no harm. But, better be safe than sorry, right?!

Orang kat sini kadang pelik2, but always entertaining! Sekian cerita minggu ini. Have a good week ahead, people!

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Yang best & tak best

Note: Semester has started and I need to blog to distract myself for a bit from reading tons of journals!

Snow everywhere!

I suddenly realized that this coming August would be my second year in Obama-land (like Kak Lisa says). I've not written very much on what it's like being here (except for random bits and pieces) so here's the gist of it... what's good and what's not good here.

Yang best

1. Shopping lah apa lagi! Memang best kalau banyak duit. Ha ha ha ha. But since we are both penniless graduate students I do not entertain requests for things in the US (unless you are prepared to cough up the money for postage, mahal OK!). Apa yang best? Branded items for clothing, accessories and of course books. Which brings me to my next point...

2. Amazon, I love you! I've been buying text books here, and recently signed up to Amazon Prime, which allows for two day free shipping. What's good about it is that I also get to buy used text books, because sometimes hard-cover text books are pretty expensive, and why spend so much when you can get a used one in quite good condition? and of course I managed to get my hands on novels that are not sold in Malaysia (or way overpriced).

3. TV shows. I get to see everything, and I mean there's so many to choose from that I am spoiled for choice. We have over 200++ channels here, and some of my favorite channels include Food Network, Lifetime, E channel (Kardashians anyone?), Investigation Discovery (crime shows and documentaries!), Bravo (Top Chef!) and of course ABC Family (I am currently hooked on Pretty Little Liars right now). And yes, they rotate shows very often like Astro so if you miss anything it's OK because there will be repeats.

4. Customer service par excellence. Being a capitalist society, the customer is always right. I really love that here. I think I've said in many posts, I've never met a rude salesperson here. Ever. Which makes tipping a very sensible practice, and very much expected here. And of course, even if they are not friendly, the service is always efficient and helpful.

5. Safety on the road. Here, pedestrians are always respected, I rarely meet impatient drivers even when it's snowing heavily, everyone goes at a moderate pace and maintain respectable distance with other drivers. But perhaps that is true because I'm living in relatively small town. It might be different say, in New York or Chicago.

Yang tak best

1. Nine to five, is really nine to five. Well, almost! The shops here are closed pretty early. Which means late night snacking and sudden urges for McDonalds fries will be futile. I miss the 24-hour mamak stall in Malaysia OK!

2. The people. OK, I am generalizing here. It's not really fair. Not everyone's like that. But the people here are different in the sense that everybody minds their own business. That's OK in some cases, but I really miss the close friendships I have back home. My classmates are pretty nice, but it took me a long time to get really close to any of them, and even then relationships are pleasant rather than personal. The ones who I am really close to are actually students from Asia, rather than Americans. They are the ones I whine to when I have problems, and they are the ones I can count on when I need help. It reminds me of the individualistic versus collectivistic orientation in intercultural literature, they are pretty accurate.

3. Being in a non-Muslim country, I think I don't have to say much. It's hard. The other day, a pretty well educated lady offered me beer; not that it's done on purpose or to insult, but that goes to show you how little they know about us. I just smiled politely, I could have explained but that would be tedious since she was the host, I did not know how to phrase it diplomatically, and of course I did not want to offend her.

4. The weather sucks! I know, I know. It's what you get for going to Ohio and not choosing somewhere warmer. But a wise lady I met last week told me that there is no point. You avoid snow and you encounter earth quakes. So there you go! The only good thing is that school gets postponed during snow storms. Ha ha ha. It's not so much the cold, but the dryness of temperature that causes your skin to itch terribly, putting layers and layers of clothing on before going out, and carefully measuring each step to avoid from slipping (yes, snow is slippery!)...

5. Being far away from family and friends. I didn't realize that would be so critical before I came. The loneliness can get to you. I am lucky to be here with my husband, it must be worse for those who are here alone.

Well, being here can be exciting at times. It can also get depressing at others. It is also valuable experience, and makes me appreciate what I have back home, and I know it's plenty to be grateful for.

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2010: Year in Review

Some of my hopes and dreams for this year. What's yours?

Happy New Year, everyone!

(Yeah, it's a tad late). He he he, sorry about that.

This week I am ensconced comfortably in a hotel room in Pittsburgh. Hubby has his residency this week so I am accompanying him here, plus my class starts a week later so I have nothing to do anyway! At first, we felt pretty worried about leaving Toby alone, but a friend kindly agreed to visit him occasionally during the week to play with him and to make sure he has enough food and water. He is such a social cat that I fear he will feel the difference without us being around but that can't be helped right now. Hopefully he will be OK. The place in Pittsburgh where hubby is doing his residency is a larger town of course than where I am living right now. Weather wise though it's almost the same; it's just as cold. I am just very grateful that it's not snowing this week while we travel for two hours back and forth. Sitting in this hotel room, I've had time to reflect on the past year, and I thought it would be fitting to pen it down. Here are some of my thoughts on it.

It's been a pretty tough year because like I've said, we are so far away from family and friends. It's also a tough year because I learned to manage without them (not successfully, at times!) and had to discern sincere people from those who have a hidden agenda. People are not always kind here but personally, I think I have learned to accept that, painful as it is. I also learned the hard way, that even though we may do things a certain way (for instance, do things sincerely without expecting anything in return) others may not conform to those standards (i.e. one rather unsavory character demanded money for every minuscule 'favors' rendered, while conveniently forgetting money was already given, and yes, this issue came up almost a year after 'said favor' was rendered! Aiyooo ada jugak orang macam ni. Suka hati ko lah labu asalkan bahagia

). But oh, don't worry we've also made new friends who are surprisingly kind and sincere, and I've learned to differentiate between the two. Adjusting to life in the US this year has I think been a lot smoother. I no longer get puzzled glances at restaurants and shopping mall, and I no longer get surprised being addressed so politely as 'hon', 'ma'am' or 'young lady'. He he he he. Culturally, it's been a learning experience and sometimes it's the smallest things that creeps up on you!

PhD wise, I am still working as hard, but I am also accepting the fact that some thing are out of my control and that if I work hard, and it's rewarded then fine. If it is not, there are other opportunities as well. Individually, I think both of us are settling down to what it means to be married. Phew, being married is pretty hard! (ni takde anak lagi he he he he) but I think it shall be worth the effort you put into it. And it does requires effort and maintenance from both partners. I am very thankful that I have a very supportive husband, Alhamdulillah... Communication I think is key, and I have to still master the art of controlling my emotions when faced with adversity. I think that's a biological difference between men and women, and it's pretty difficult to curb your natural tendencies. Men are more relaxed when faced with difficulties, and women in general tend to let their emotions cloud their judgment. But this is a skill that can be improved so I hope this year will be better!. But the more important thing is to learn from your mistakes and to try to always be a better person. Hubby always reminds me, let other people treat us how they want, we can't control that, what we can do is to never stoop to their level! Perhaps there's a grain of truth in that.He is indeed a lot wiser than me. He he he he.

All in all, I can say that my year has been full of ups and downs. Of course if given a chance, I would have loved to have a second go at how I manage certain things, but overall it's been a pretty good year. I pray that this year will be better, and that my own personal goals (which seem so far away!) will not seem so out of reach...So friends and readers, how have your year been? Do write!

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Aduh Toby....

Takut lah tu kene mandi. Tak usah buat muka cute, we are not amused!

It was supposed to be a relaxing Sunday morning. But it didn't to turn out that way. Sigh.

Toby is a good kitten for the most part but he really tested our patience today! He's growing at a really fast rate; Maine Coons are supposed to be huge cats so we expected him to grow very fast. Poor thing is almost out growing his litter box; he's had to twist his body a bit to get comfortable and today, in his haste to clean himself, he accidentally stepped on his own poo and left a trail of cat poo across the apartment. I noticed it suddenly when I caught a whiff on unpleasant smell wafting through the air and some suspicious stains on the white kitchen tiles. Geramnye!

We ended up spending quite a bit of time cleaning the floors of the whole apartment, toilets and washing the toilet rags & carpets. Toby also got a good wash! Good thing was he was tired after all his shenanigans and fell asleep for the rest of the evening.

Apart from that, I still have tons of work to do though. We have a proposal due in two weeks and I have two major assignments to settle. While browsing for information today, I was curious to check out this website. Kelakar tak? Students in the US can rate their lecturers to deter or encourage others to take classes with them. Besides ratings, they can also give comments. Some of the comments are pretty brutal! Kalau kat Malaysia pun ada tau lah macam mana. But I noticed some difference with US students; they like it if lecturers give them good grades, yes but they are also happy if lecturers are friendly and treat them like friends. Some even mentioned that they were happy to learn a lot in that class even though the material was hard and grades were not so good!

Anyway, my paper is calling me again. I thought this was going to be a short update. Heh. To my friends and family back home, Selamat Hari Raya Haji. I cannot wait to celebrate mine in Malaysia, cepat2 lah habis PhD nih!

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