The idiot's guide to 'nikah'
OK, OK... this is not a 18sx post nor is it providing dating tips. I would not know about that kind of stuff. :-P He he he. But due to my difficulties in getting my wedding documents settled, here are some tips for those of you who are not married yet. So you don't become "Bridezilla" (in Mrs. Curmudgeon's words!).
1. Tip number 1: Hell hath no fury like the pissed off tuk kadi. He is the one who is going to officiate the ceremony. So if you are in doubt, please ring him. Or if you don't know who he is going to be, make sure you get his contact number.
2. Tip number 2: Keep your eyes wide open for inconsistencies. Bear in mind that the procedures in each state in Malaysia differ. Case in point: for Selangor, you can submit the documents two months from the akad nikah, while in Kedah, you have to submit it only ONE month before hand. To help you with all this unnecessary rigmarole, I would suggest reading the procedures online or looking very carefully at the check list of documents you need to submit.
3. Tip number 3: Try to avoid going up and down to the Jabatan Agama (s). The procedures are different, yes in detail, but in actual, you have to get the forms for your permission to marry inside or outside of your state, and to submit it to the Jabatan Agama according to your address in your IC. So to avoid going so many times to the JAs, you can always download the forms, fill it in then only go ONCE to the JAs. For example, you can download the Selangor forms from this URL and you can downloaded the "Borang 1" (KL) from this URL
4. Tip number 4: Usually, the females have a harder time! This is a fact, OK. First off, you cannot settle yours until the bridegroom has gotten permission to marry, then only you can submit your forms. Secondly, concerning your wali. If your wali @ usually your father is no longer around, things will get complicated. Third, beware if you are the FIRST CHILD. If you are the first child, in most states I think you have to provide your parents marriage certificate (certified) to prove that you are their legitimate child.
5. Tip number 5: Try to do it according to your IC address. If you are in KL or Selangor, it is still better to do it in your hometown. If you are residing in KL or Selangor, there are more documentations to provide to prove that you are 'bermastautin'. So it's better to do it in your hometown. And that reminds me, you can only submit the documents in the Jabatan Agama in your district. I.e. if you live in Petaling, you have to go to Shah Alam office.
6. Tip number 6: If your akad nikah is at a different place, there are more forms to fill in! If you are living in the same state that you are having your akad it is OK. But if you are having the akad somewhere else, there is going to be trouble (and more 'beauty' of bureaucracy).
7. Tip number 7: Be prepared for a lot of waiting. Sigh. I spent 3 hours in the JAIS office alone. For what? Owh, I had to wait for the clerk to manually key in the information one by one. She was so slow that I wanted to take over the typing! :-P To do my HIV, I had to take at least half a day to complete it in the government clinic. And yes, the kursus kahwin took me two days. So be prepared to take leave, and allocate at least one to two months to settle all the paper work.
Hope this doesn't scare off all of you who have not tied the knot yet. Bear in mind, the degree of complexity depends on you and your partner's background and residential area. Moral of the story: Marry someone from the same state, and don't bother to do the akad nikah OUTSIDE of your residential area! People, you have been warned. :-P
Jotted by,
1. Tip number 1: Hell hath no fury like the pissed off tuk kadi. He is the one who is going to officiate the ceremony. So if you are in doubt, please ring him. Or if you don't know who he is going to be, make sure you get his contact number.
2. Tip number 2: Keep your eyes wide open for inconsistencies. Bear in mind that the procedures in each state in Malaysia differ. Case in point: for Selangor, you can submit the documents two months from the akad nikah, while in Kedah, you have to submit it only ONE month before hand. To help you with all this unnecessary rigmarole, I would suggest reading the procedures online or looking very carefully at the check list of documents you need to submit.
3. Tip number 3: Try to avoid going up and down to the Jabatan Agama (s). The procedures are different, yes in detail, but in actual, you have to get the forms for your permission to marry inside or outside of your state, and to submit it to the Jabatan Agama according to your address in your IC. So to avoid going so many times to the JAs, you can always download the forms, fill it in then only go ONCE to the JAs. For example, you can download the Selangor forms from this URL and you can downloaded the "Borang 1" (KL) from this URL
4. Tip number 4: Usually, the females have a harder time! This is a fact, OK. First off, you cannot settle yours until the bridegroom has gotten permission to marry, then only you can submit your forms. Secondly, concerning your wali. If your wali @ usually your father is no longer around, things will get complicated. Third, beware if you are the FIRST CHILD. If you are the first child, in most states I think you have to provide your parents marriage certificate (certified) to prove that you are their legitimate child.
5. Tip number 5: Try to do it according to your IC address. If you are in KL or Selangor, it is still better to do it in your hometown. If you are residing in KL or Selangor, there are more documentations to provide to prove that you are 'bermastautin'. So it's better to do it in your hometown. And that reminds me, you can only submit the documents in the Jabatan Agama in your district. I.e. if you live in Petaling, you have to go to Shah Alam office.
6. Tip number 6: If your akad nikah is at a different place, there are more forms to fill in! If you are living in the same state that you are having your akad it is OK. But if you are having the akad somewhere else, there is going to be trouble (and more 'beauty' of bureaucracy).
7. Tip number 7: Be prepared for a lot of waiting. Sigh. I spent 3 hours in the JAIS office alone. For what? Owh, I had to wait for the clerk to manually key in the information one by one. She was so slow that I wanted to take over the typing! :-P To do my HIV, I had to take at least half a day to complete it in the government clinic. And yes, the kursus kahwin took me two days. So be prepared to take leave, and allocate at least one to two months to settle all the paper work.
Hope this doesn't scare off all of you who have not tied the knot yet. Bear in mind, the degree of complexity depends on you and your partner's background and residential area. Moral of the story: Marry someone from the same state, and don't bother to do the akad nikah OUTSIDE of your residential area! People, you have been warned. :-P
Jotted by,
6 rejoinders:
And that is why, once upon a blog-entry ago, I said, "No wonder people love the Golok option".Hahaha.Alhamdulillah, I had no problem with mine, walaupun sakit jiwa dok isi borang (and translate borang untuk Signore).Lagi gile bila nak isi borang tukar lesen.Akan ku story next time, okeh.
Mrs C: Bridezilla indeed. :-P Weh, cite lah pasal your procedure in your blog, especialy the interview part.
all settled? alhamdulillah... tunggu hari saja.
Kak Hana: Yeah, all settled after going to Jawi. But have to see Tuk Kadi first.
Buat akad nikah kat rumah tok kadi boleh tak? Tak pun buat kat pejabat agama je.. senang terus key data bila selesai nikah.
Bro Harris: Ha ha ha, cadangan yang sangat baik. Paling afdal di pejabat agama... tapi i kene bagi diaorang training database entry ala2 cam entry tu supaya tak yah tunggu kat situ 3 jam. :-P
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